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A Goldman Sachs bonus for small businesses

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It’s been a great recession for Wall Street and a truly sucky one for Main Street.

It sounds, I swear, like an Onion headline — in fact, when I read it, I scanned upwards to make sure the date didn’t read April 1.

Goldman Sachs’ president, Lloyd Blankenfein, announced today that it’s sorry for all the bad things it did that resulted in the financial meltdown of late 2008 — bad things like foisting the lion’s share of collateralized debt obligations on the world. And like something out of a bad Saturday Night Live sketch, he admitted that Goldman Sachs is not, as he previously asserted, not doing God’s work (okay, I made that last part up — but he did say two weeks ago that Goldman Sachs was doing God’s work — maybe they should rename themselves “God-Man Sacks,” as in “sacks of money”).

And just to show that they’re sorry, they will be taking $500 million of the $16.7 billion (BILLION) that they’ve earmarked for executive bonuses and will be giving that money away to struggling small businesses. It’s not much, really (3% of the bonus pool), but it may keep a few hundred small businesses in business.

Before you stake out a place in line at Goldman’s headquarters, $200 million of that half-billion will be devoted to sending small business owners to muscle up their business education at, get this, community colleges (thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin). You may want to take a pass on that (even if you needed a community college course in business, do you have the time if your small business is struggling?), but Goldman will devote an undisclosed amount to pay for mentoring and networking services and pony up another $300 million in loans and grants. As they knock their heads together and figure out how to divvy up this latter sack of money, we’ll be keeping you updated. Stay tuned.

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2 Responses to “A Goldman Sachs bonus for small businesses”

  1. Steve Monas says:

    Why community colleges? They should just purchase and pass out our book to all there current customers!

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  1. [...] have changed their mentality following the financial crisis? Or do you agree with bloggers here and here that this is all a big PR stunt? (The firm’s also set aside 16.7 BILLION dollars [...]


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