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The Roundup July 4 & 5 Special Build-Your-Vocabulary Edition

Conveniently, this word means both “broken,” as in, “doesn’t work,” and “broke,” as in, “out of money,” demonstrated in spades as California goes bust because, well, the government’s busted. Businesses all around the state start receiving IOU’s from Sacramento, but, unfortunately, the IOU’s are not allowed to flow in the other direction.

In a radical move, the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary have added a new definition under this venerable and oft-abused word, and that definition is Firefox 3.5 browser, released this week packed to the rafters with bugs and unfinished lines of code (over 60 and counting so far). In bad news for Google, Firefox 3.5 quickly passes the Google Chrome browser in market share (2% in one week), even though it’s slower than grass growing and is prone to sending your entire computer to the seventh circle of hell. The anything-but-Microsoft crowd of tech journalists. of course, have nothing but good things to say about Firefox’s new disaster-invention software, but they, of course, would be happy browsing the Web with a rock rather than Internet Explorer.

As in, “a state without friends or money,” as the courts leave Ruth Madoff, wife of Spread-the-wealth-to-me Bernie Madoff, with a measley $2.5 million. If you do the math, this comes out to a street-begging $125,000 a year if she lives to 100, which would barely buy one year’s worth of shoes or a week’s worth of meals. Not wanting to learn how the other half of the top 1% lives, she will probably soon join the tarantula-eating cast of next season’s I’m A Celebrity . . . Get Me Out Of Here! to raise some needed cash.

Faced with declining market share, massive competition from Facebook and Twitter, the loss of their new headquarters, and blood-spilling layoffs, MySpace cranks up their innovation engine and comes up with . . . a new logo.

In Japanese, a more polite way than “otaku” to say, “big fan,” which, it seems, describes the Japanese attitude towards the iPhone. Despite Brian Chen’s horribly embarassing claim on just three months ago that the Japanese hate the iPhone and will never buy it as well as the phone’s irritating loud click sound when trying to use it for perversions on a crowded densha, the iPhone has so outpaced its competitors in Japan that, well, they’re not really competitors anymore.

As in, “150th anniversary,” a milestone Bernie Madoff will be celebrating when he’s released from prison, if U.S. Court District Judge Denny Chen has any say in the matter. But all is not lost. Remember that line in Thank You For Smoking? “Dad, what makes America great?” “The endless appeals process.”

Or you can just say, barftastic, pukilicious, or just plain chunks-for-the-memories. Or how about this as a definition: “what idiot thought this was a good idea and why does he still have a job?” Microsoft pulls its Internet Explorer 8 ad, which shows a woman upchucking all over her husband after visiting, we are led to believe, a porn site on his computer (and, yes, that is Superman doing the narration). Microsoft pulled the ad after releasing it to the world and, get this, being deluged by complaints. Firefox 3.5 may be the worst browser of all time, but IE8 is gearing up to be the most tasteless (seriously, selling a browser because it hides your online porn activities?). Oh, well, de pukibus non est disputandum, as they say.


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