Categorized | seriously dumb

Our business strategy is a movie . . .

Apple ::: Weekend At Bernie’s
Apple goes to desperate lengths to prove that Steve Jobs is still breathing. The board promises all the rest of us that we will “know” when Jobs becomes incapable of performing his job, but they don’t tell us exactly when we’ll know. Once Jobs starts showing up with sunglasses and a stupid grin on his face, you’ll know why.

The Bush Administration ::: Brewster’s Millions
The goal is to spend $350 billion dollars of TARP money in just one week and have nothing of value to show for it whatsoever. The funny thing about this strategy is that you lose if they win.

Lehmann, Goldman Sachs, Bear Stearns ::: The Matrix
I know what you’re thinking, ’cause right now I’m thinking the same thing. Actually, I’ve been thinking it ever since I got here: why, oh why didn’t I take the blue pill?

GM and Chrysler ::: Dude, Where’s My Car?
Let’s recap. Last month, Rick and Rob lost billions of dollars, accepted borrowed money from the government, and now they’re talking to space nerds. I hate to say it, but maybe Rick and Rob need to cut back on the shibbying.

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