Categorized | seriously dumb

Before there was Santa, there was the gangsta rap song

Okay, okay, it’s a year old, I know, but as timeless as an article in the Onion (and I swear to God, it’s not the Onion, really, seriously). But it seems that the marketing firm in charge of Australian Santas got their knickers in a twist about hollering “ho ho ho” to little boys and little girls who, naturally, would think the old fat pervert was dissing their old lady or, even worse, looking to score some for a few dollars.

Santas across Sydney are rebelling against attempts to ban their traditional greeting of “ho, ho, ho” in favour of “ha, ha, ha”.

One would-be Santa has told The Daily Telegraph he was taught not to use “ho, ho, ho” because it was too close to the American slang for prostitute. He quit.

“How about a Bratz doll for Christmas? Ho! Ho! Ho!”

Naturally, the marketing firm providing Santas had to back away from its wholesome “ho” ban. Just a bit, mind you, but they had to reassure retailers that their Santas would be allowed to belt out the dreaded “h” word with as much Foster-induced brio as they could summon.

Westaff’s national Santa co-ordinator Sari Hegarty wrote to stores explaining the company’s position.

“Westaff has been a provider of quality caring Santas for over 40 years,” Ms Hegarty wrote in an email.

“Part of our advice to our Santas is that they should be mindful of children having their first Santa experience.

“We ask our Santas to try techniques such as lowering their tone of voice and using ‘ha, ha, ha’ to encourage the children to come forward and meet Santa.”

National Santa Co-ordinator?

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